he has lucimia *sp* at the very most they give him 6 months that is with painful treatments... he doesnt want any treatment he just wants to go... what a week...

my grandpa is dieing and i have to go to work...

i try my hardest to always be there for people...

yet...

when i need people to be here for me they are no where to be found...

i helped two people move and niether are helping...

and others are just backing out...

the rest dont even feel the need to offer...

yeah...

it will be a long day...

just shows never count on people...

they will only disappoint you...



PS thanks Ben... you are the greatest... seeign that we havent hung out in like a year it is very nice of you to help me, shows alot about you. i liek you more then most of my friends right now...

People see happiness in your eyes! You are most
likely a really awesome person who trys to
enjoy life. You can usually see the good in any
situation or person. You bring joy wherever you
go in life and probably have a really good set
of friends. But sometimes you may strive too
hard to be happy and may try to fool yourself
and others. In this case, it's not good to hold
in your feelings, and you should try to find
someone to talk to about what's bothering you
instead of covering it up. But, all in all you
usually get over these situations quickly and
can continue living life to its fullest! Go
you! ^_^


What can people see in your eyes?(great ANIME pics)((IMPROVED!!!))
brought to you by Quizilla

http://www.43things.com/person/monalissa

i made this tonight it is cute...

it is days like today that i just want to die...

i feel like there is nothing left to live for and i am only taking up space...

so whats the fucking point of being here.

so i am moving from the only house i can remember...
and as i pack up every little nik nak i never knew i owned i am reminded of so much
like how mean i was to so many and how much i miss the good times we had with one and other...

i found the card from the first time a boyfriend told me loved me, and i truely beleived him
i couldnt bring myself to throw it away, i am so proud of him and the things he has done
i wish he knew that, and that i am happy for him and his girlfriend now,
and that a part of me will always love and think of him
i know he wont read this but i am so sorry Aaron.

i found old swim gear, and a piece of heart hurt, when i think of high school i cant think of it with out swimming
i remember being a freshmen wandering the crowded halls of Cooper and wonder who all these people were
and seeing the sweet swimmer wavign and saying see you later...
i know that there are no swimmers readign this but thank you for four Great years!

as i filled boxes with frames i noticed that i still had pictures to two infuental people in my life Laura, and Dayna
we had some of my fondest high school memories together in car rides and sleep overs...
i know that when our time came to travel on to you own woundering paths it wasnt done on a friendly note
and i am sorry for lettign that happen because no matter how we sepperated we had a great ride while it lasted

i unplugged my stereo and remember the trip to target with my dad to buy it...
it right before Ruthie had Sierra and they had moved in for a bit
he bought it to thank me for for helpign out with everything but it was
the first time i had ever looked into my fathers eyes and saw fear,
he was scared for my sister and so was i

that brings me to Sierra the most amazign 5 year old you will ever meet, bull headed and beutiful.
we had our first sleep over in the next room over and our first chirstmas here.
i hope she knows that she has to be my favorite preson in the world
i know that no matter what i do she will always look at me with those lovign eyes

I think my mother said it best no one could ever be a better
mother to sierra then my sister, i was so scared but she lives each day provign me wrong
she is more then okay, she has an amazing relationship with sierra
and shes an awesome sister, so thank you for proving me wrong you rock star!

on a less sappy note very boy i have ever really dated has been in here
i got got caught with a boy for the first time in this room
and cried every last tear for him when my heart was broken
but if my heart wont have been broke i wont know ant better to thank you

i met my soul mate in this house, Kate Borman, my Chinesse best friend :)
her growing prefetion, she doesnt even see for herself
the one girl i know will be there until the very end no matter how hard
i thank you for sticking next to me and behind me and infront of me when i need stopping i <3 u!

i found a old set of key to my old 1989 Audi 200 Turbo
the crazy trips around town we took in that car and the numerous times getting pulled over
not to mention the moth $1000 mechanines bill for all the fixing it needed
but i could have asked for a better first car and i miss it so...

i found boxes in my closet from girlscouts, my little vests, brown and green
i met an amazign girl who i know will go far if she could only see what i see is inside her dieing to jump out
Amber you have to be one of the most intelegent, well rounded people i have and will ever met
you can make a friend in a minute, i am not sure how and i wish i had the gift, but i hope
you see you greatness, and thank you, your inspirering, your mom must be so proud...

tens years ago i lost my first pet in this house the sweetest old thing Brandy
i was so mad at my parents the put him down and never asked me
i came home frm school and he was gone but
i know my parents didnt the right thing he was old and in pain

last summer i snuck out of my room for the first time
i remember dogding the motion light and settng it off and
running faster then forest gump, and that ligh twas find with more laughter the some many


i could go on for years but i do have school, i though ti should express how thankful i am to all the have made my stay here memerable, but with very store there is an end i hope we can make new memories at my new home. but i would liek you point out my observation as we grow up friendship isnt about the number of time you see them of the number of times you talk it is about beign able to call and say i need to talk or i need help... i am growign up and see that things are changing... so i am going to change with them...

this is to everyone who the changed my life beign in it THANK YOU!

525,600 minutes, 525,000 moments so dear. 525,600 minutes - how do you measure,
measure a year? In daylights, in sunsets, in midnights, in cups of coffee. In
inches, in miles, in laughter, in strife. In 525,600 minutes - how do you
measure a year in the life?
How about love? How about love? How about love? Measure in love. Seasons of
love.

525,600 minutes! 525,000 journeys to plan. 525,600 minutes - how can you measure
the life of a woman or man?

In truths that she learned, or in times that he cried. In bridges he burned, or
the way that she died.

It’s time now to sing out, tho the story never ends let's celebrate remember a year in the life of friends. Remember
the love! Remember the love! Remember
the love! Measure in love. Seasons of love! Seasons of love

OMG!!!! WE GOT IT!!!
we got the apartment!!
this is the best day every...

so i got to watch sierra the other night and that was a ton of fun!
and ruthie came home from her night out and was being soooo funny!
and then i had the mosaic car wash and that went very well...
i also went to apply for an apt. in New Hope and i am nervous that Corie and i wont get it....
but because they are going to call my house i need to tell my parents... SCARY!

VACATION!

i am so sad i have the biggest crush on a guy named paul and i think he is liek s junior in college or something idk but he is so pretty, and i only see him once a year at the frolics but holly shit, he is great...



When you cry, be sure to dry your eyes,
'Cause better days are sure to come.
And when you smile, be sure to smile wide,
And don't let them know that they have won.
And when you walk, walk with pride,
And don't show the hurt inside,
Because the pain sill soon be gone.

And when you dream, dream big,
As big as the ocean, blue.
'Cause when you dream it might come true.
But when you dream, dream big.

And when you laugh, be sure to laugh out loud,
'Cause it will carry all your cares away.
And when you see, see the beauty all around and in yourself,
And it will help you feel okay.
And when you pray, pray for strength to help to carry on,
But when the troubles come your way.

And when you dream, dream big,
As big as the ocean, blue.
'Cause when you dream it might come true.
But when you dream, dream big.

When you cry be sure to dry your eyes,
cause better days are sure to come.
And when you smile be sure to smile wide, and
don't let them know that they have one.
And when you laugh be sure to laugh out loud,
'Cause it will carry all your cares away.
And when you see, see the beauty all
around and in yourself, and it will help you feel okay.
And when you pray, pray for strength to
help to carry on when the troubles come your way.

I can make anybody pretty.
I can make you believe any lie.
I can make you pick a fight with somebody twice your size.
Well, I�ve been known to cause a few break-ups,
An' I�ve been known to cause a few births.
Well, I can make you new friends, or get you fired from work.

And since the day I left Milwaukee,
Lynchburg an' Bordeaux, France,
Been making the bars lots of big money,
An' helpin' white people dance.
I got you in trouble in High School,
But College, now that was a ball.
You had some of the best times you�ll never remember with me:
Alcohol; Alcohol.

I got blamed at your wedding reception,
For your best man�s embarrassing speech.
And also for those naked pictures of you at the beach.
I�ve influenced Kings and world leaders,







I helped Hemingway write like he did.
And I�ll bet you a drink or two, that I can make you put that lampshade on your head.

�Cause since the day I left Milwaukee,
Lynchburg and Bordeaux, France,
I been making a fool out of folks just like you,
An' helping white people dance.
I am medicine and I am poison,
I can help you up or make you fall.
You had some of the best times you�ll never remember with me:
Alcohol.

Yeah, since the day I left Milwaukee,
Lynchburg an' Bordeaux, France,
Been making the bars lots of big money,
(Helpin' white people dance.)
Yeah, I got you in trouble in High School,
But College, now that was a ball.
You had some of the best times you�ll never remember with me:
Alcohol; Alcohol.

when the president talks to god
are the conversations brief or long?
does he ask to rape our womens' rights
or to send poor farm kids off to die?
will the president reccomend an oil hike
when the president talks to god

when the president talks to god
are the words he chooses hard or soft?
does he resolute all down the line?
is every issue black or white?
does what god say ever change his mind
when the president talks to god

when the president talks to god
does he fake that drawl or merely nod?
agree which convicts should be killed?
where the prison's built and filled?
which voter fraud must be concealed
when the president talks to god?

when the president talks to god
I wonder which one plays the better cop
we should find some jobs. the ghetto's broke
no, they're lazy, George, I say we don't
just give 'em more liquor stores and dirty coke
that's what god reccomends

when the president talks to god
do they drink near beer and go play golf
when they pick which country should we invade
and which Muslim souls still can be saved?
yeah I guess god just calls a spade a spade
when the president talks to god

when the president talks to god
does he ever think that maybe he's not?
that that voice is just inside his head
when he kneels down in the presidential bed
does he ever smell his own bullshit
when the president talks to god?
I doubt it

The picture is far too big to look at kid. Your eyes won't open wide enough
and you are constantly surrounded by that swirling stream of what is and what was.
Well, we've all made our predictions but the truth still isn't out.
So if you want to see the future, go stare into a cloud.
And keep trying to find your way out of that maze of memories.
It all sort of looks familiar, but then you get up close and it's different. clearly.
Each time you turn a corner, you are right back to where you were
and your only hope is that forgetting might make a door appear.
Is it your fear of being buried that makes you so afraid to speak?
An avalanche of opinions like the one that feel that I am now underneath.
It was my voice that moved the first rock and I would do it all again.
So, I mean, it's cool if you keep quiet, but I like singing.
So I'll be holding my note and stomping and strumming and feeling so very lucky.
There is nothing I know except that this lifetime is just one moment
and wishing will just leave me empty. So you can try and live in darkness
but you will never shake the light. It will greet you every morning
and make you more aware with its absence at night,
when you are wrapped up in your blanket baby, that comfortable cocoon.
But I have seen the day of your awakening boy and it's coming soon.
So go ahead and loose yourself in liquor and you can praise the clouded mind
but it isn't what you are thinking it's the course of history, your position in line.
You are just a piece of the puzzle so I think you had better find your place.
And don't go blaming your knowledge on some fruit you ate.
Because there has been a great deal of discussion, yes, about the properties of man.
Animal or angel? You were carved from bone, but your heart it's just sand.
And the wind is going to scatter it and cover everything with love.
So if it makes you happy, keep kneeling Mama, but I am standing up.
Because this veil, it has been lifted. My eyes are wet with clarity.
I have been a witness of such wonders. Oh, I have searched for them all across this country
but I think I'll be returning now to the town where I was born.
And I understand you must keep moving friend, but I am heading home.
I'm gonna follow the road and let the scenery sweeping by easily enter my body.
I'll send you all this message in code, under ground, over mountains,
through forests, deserts and cities.
All across the electric wire, it's a baited line. The hook is in deep boys,
there is no more time. So you can struggle in the water and be too stubborn to die,
or you could just let go and be lifted to the sky.

so idk i wonder if Corie still wants to move out i try to call her alot but no answer...

i hung out with justin and "everyone" last night it was good to see them it seems liek forever... sad to think he will be gone in a month. i will miss our drunken nights and morning drives...

it was sarah's birthday yesterday happy 19th sarah and jessie's is next week ahppy 19th to you too... wow in a few months i will be 19 wierd...

not much esle goin on on this side of the ship how about ours answer me!!!